• When You Feel Overwhelmed

    What starts happening in your body when you feel overwhelmed? Here are some tell-tale signs in mine: My eye started twitching about ten days before he left, and at my annual well visit on the day prior to his departure, my blood pressure was higher than it has ever been.  My thoughts run from what if he doesn’t come back to who is going to listen to me process my day to how will I ever manage six children who need my full attention. Anxiety leads to distraction and it’s impossible to get things done. My prayer journal sits open on my lap, but all I can utter is a…

  • God’s Glory On The Day I Watched My Husband Save Our Son’s Life

    “Mommy, come here!” She screams even though I’m in the next room, and I come rushing to see what’s wrong. Her brother is choking. This is not an unusual occurrence. His thick tongue and low muscle tone—common characteristics of those with Down syndrome—have often triggered choking incidents since he was little. We pureed his food until well after his second birthday, and I’m all-too familiar with the hook and sweep technique they taught us to dislodge food from his throat.  But today, it doesn’t work. Frantic, I send my daughter to get her daddy. It’s the beginning weeks of the 2020 pandemic, and like almost everyone else in our nation,…

  • A Word About the ‘Spark’ In Marriage

    If you google, “How to reignite the spark in your marriage,” you’ll find multiple websites offering top ten lists and creative ideas to help put red-hot passion back in your relationship. Some of the tips are helpful, and applying them might create positive results. Sparks are fun and exciting after all! But as 40-somethings, and after sixteen years of marriage, my husband and I are no longer dependent on fleeting flickering sparks. A marriage that lasts requires more than a sexy flame. Yet the fire analogy is helpful. Think about what draws us to a fire. Dancing flames. Unpredictable patterns and colors. We can’t turn our eyes away from a…

  • Step Into the Spirit’s Open Embrace

    My hands are dripping wet and I’m holding the lid to the butter dish when he walks into the kitchen. “I haven’t kissed you yet today,” he says, as he stretches out his arms to pull me in. I want to push him away. To tell him now is not the time. For one thing, can’t you see I’m in the middle of doing the dishes? And for another thing, I’m on my way to correct our children, again. Because the same bad habit, the one I keep reminding them to break, well they did it again and I’ve had enough. Enough. This time, when I tell them just how…

  • When You Can’t Meet Every Need

    We went on an impromptu date the other night. Just me and him, while the older girls babysat the kids. We chose a nearby restaurant where we could sit outside and watch the boats in the marina. Our conversation was mostly light. Books we’re reading, the kids, his job, upcoming travel—his not mine, writing ideas—mine not his, and of course the challenges and joys of this current season in which we’re all adjusting to a new school year, new responsibilities, and new rhythms.  While we were driving home I told my husband that I’m loving every minute of what I’m doing for our family in this season. And I am,…

  • Step Into the Sand & Dip Your Toes in the Water

    At the end of our street is a public beach access point to the Chesapeake Bay. So, when we moved to town, we immediately went to scope it out. Now,  you need to know: it was the end of January—cold, windy, and damp. And we had come from the white sands, turquoise water, and perfect temperature of the Florida gulf coast. Our new beach was the exact opposite. I was appalled by the dirty brown sand, the trash cans leaning precariously close to the dunes, zero waves, and the litter. I remember thinking: this is not a real beach. Well, that summer, we visited this ‘fake’ beach several times a…

  • Cords Have Memory

    For six years, we had a minor marital dispute over a vacuum cleaner. Whenever my husband would pull it out of the closet, he would instantly become frustrated because the cord was twisted up and couldn’t reach very far. Each time, he would remind me, again, to unwind it before storing it after each use. And I tried, truly. But I could never get it to straighten out. No matter how long or hard I tried, nothing worked for me. Alas, the cord wasn’t just shorter, the wires had become exposed. We either needed to replace or repair the vacuum cleaner. Then, one Sunday morning while I was helping tear…

  • When The Light Spills In

    Almost a year ago to the day, I sat in an airplane and watched the sun rise. It was the first time I was by myself in over a year. The silence and solitude were just as heavenly as the view. On the tray table in front of me sat a journal, my Bible, and a scrap piece of paper I had ripped out of a legal pad the day before. The paper held lines of a poem I had scribbled out the previous morning. The first stanza read:“My soul was shrouded in darknessThe night long and bleak.I cried to the Lord, ‘Come help me!’But the darkness refused to flee.”…

  • Nothing is Too Hard for God

    I turn to the last page in my prayer journal for the assigned day, and continue praying. Friends, family, the world, my own heart—there are so many burdens to carry to the Lord. My heart feels heavy, my mind and soul are weak. As I pour out my heart and intercede for the needs of others, the Spirit whispers to my soul: Nothing is too difficult for me. I know this phrase. It’s a song. One from the cassette tape my parents would play on repeat as we drove North on Route 29, in the blue minivan. We would sing along, my sister and I harmonizing at the top of…

  • What It’s Like to Feel Secure in God’s Love

    She hands me a wilted camellia and three droopy dandelions. “Put them in a jar, Mommy! Put it on the table!” And of course I do. What Mother wouldn’t receive such a gift from her daughter? She didn’t feel the need to perk up, shape up, or fix this simple bouquet before placing it in my hands. Never mind that it looked weary, wasted, worn, and unfit for public display. Hers was a gift of love. And she knew I would receive it because she felt secure in my love. And right there, in the middle of my kitchen, God uses one of my children to point me to himself.…