• What your soul needs more than anything else

      Last fall I was asked to sit on a panel of several women for a women’s event at church.   The topic of discussion was “How to fill yourself up in order to pour out.”  One of the questions we were given ahead of time was to choose an area of life–physical, mental, social, spiritual, or emotional–and talk about what we do to fill up in that area.   Thinking through the answer to this, and other questions, had me searching for just the right response.  It had been a few years since I had spoken to a group of women, and I felt the responsibility of being honest…

  • When your soul becomes exposed (& why this is good)

      Our little home sits on a fairly busy corner, surrounded by fences on all sides.  The front yard is enclosed with a short white picket fence,  the kind that has that small-town American feel.  The side yard has several wooden gates giving it a quaint and somewhat secret English garden feel.  And then our backyard has a fence which not only provides safety for the kids, but privacy from the neighbors.  The kids’ elementary school sits about 100 yards away from the back of our house, so every morning and afternoon buses and frantic parents whiz by our little corner.   It can feel busy and hurried, but our backyard has been a quiet and peaceful…

  • The Mysterious Gift of Shattered Dreams

        What would be the greatest gift you could ever receive?     This question was posed to us during a Sunday School lesson a few weeks ago.  Most of us at the table knew the ‘right’ answer, but for the sake of discussion and getting to the heart of the matter, we began to share our desires.  Someone mentioned the salvation of their children, another the ability to know the future.  But what has stayed with me these weeks later is the answer from a friend at the table:     “Whatever it is that I don’t want.”   Strange response, right?  The greatest gift you could receive is that…

  • 3 Helpful Ways to Acknowledge the War in Your Soul

      The church service had just started and my three year old daughter was already causing problems.  She wouldn’t be still or quiet and her eyes begged me to hold her during each song.  I could tell the whining was about to start when she scrunched up her face at my refusal of the gum she requested, and by the time the children were dismissed for the sermon, anger and impatience had taken over my spirit. She refused to stay in children’s church, so I grudgingly carried her back to the service with strict warnings to ‘be quiet, sit still and don’t bother me because I want to listen’.  About…

  • What to believe when you feel like there’s nothing left to give

      We didn’t register for a lot of fancy things when we got married.  I picked out a china pattern and some flatware, but we didn’t place crystal, silver pieces, or cut glass on our registry.  However, I married a man from the South and one of the sweet ladies from the church where he grew up gave us a beautiful pitcher.  It was lovely, but what was most significant about this gift was the note included on the package.  She wrote to us explaining how this pitcher represented what she prayed for our family.   It was her hope that we would invite people into our home and show love, acceptance, welcome…

  • When your soul feels dry and empty

      I used to picture deserts as endless rolling hills of sand.  Hot, dry, the blazing sun,  no people or cities in sight, maybe a camel or two ambling along.  My visions had been shaped by movies, I’m sure, and there was an almost romantic feeling to it.  Then I moved to the Middle East and experienced the desert.  Yes, those romanticized parts do exist; the sand is red and goes on forever, the nighttime sky is brilliant with stars that are unhindered by any kind of man-made light, and it truly is as beautiful as I had imagined.  But there is also a desert that looks like this.     Cracked, dried…

  • When you feel like the noise of the world has affected your soul

      Two years ago this week we closed on our home here in Norfolk.  I loved the house we had found with its quirky layout, huge front porch and large mudroom, but I didn’t want to live here.  We had been hoping for an assignment in Hawaii or San Diego, but that didn’t pan out so we found ourselves setting up life in what many had called ‘the armpit of the Navy’.     That’s not exactly the kind of description you want to hear about your new city.  But I had listened to their comments and while I learned my way around town I would grumble.  The traffic is so…

  • How to feel your pain when life goes on

      People said some lovely things to us when we first learned that Mason had Down syndrome.  I know their intentions were good and they wanted to encourage us with comments like, “God only gives special kids to really special people,” and “It takes such wonderfully kind people to raise kids like this, so it’s obvious why God chose you.”  “What a gift you’ve been given and how great it is that God chose you to be Mason’s mom and dad.”   Yes!  Absolutely we were given a gift in Mason, a great one, and I have always loved him in more ways than he’ll ever know.  I felt that…

  • A Prayer for 2017

      Looking back on this past year, we feel a mix of emotions.  Some of us are rejoicing that 2016 is behind us; some of us are fighting fear in the face of a new beginning.  There were challenging seasons and moments of great joy.  But through it all, You never changed, Lord.   Your character remains the same and so regardless of the shifting nature of this world, we rejoice in Your faithfulness.   When life gave us hard things that we didn’t understand, we knew the depth of your goodness. When our bank account was low we knew the generosity of your provision. When the grief blindsided us with tears we…

  • For those who feel the tension of grief and joy

      This is our seventh Christmas without my brother.  He would be 26 now, probably married, and as much as he loved kids, he most likely would have been trying to keep up with the size of our family.  Christmas is always bittersweet; all the holidays and family gatherings are.  There will always be a void, an empty seat, painful reminders of his absence.     I’m not an expert on grief, but if there’s anything I’ve learned through loss, it’s that somehow grief and joy can coexist.     This used to make me feel guilty.  I remember clearly the day I arrived at my parents’ house, the day…