First Things First

As a young teenager, I made a rather extensive list of all the qualities I was looking for in a husband. I combined traits from many of the men I respected—plus a few extras—just to be sure I found the man who would fulfill all my hopes and dreams. When I graduated from college without a ring on my finger, I started to carefully examine my curated list. Were my standards too high? What could I eliminate? I began to whittle away, scribbling out traits I knew weren’t necessary, maybe even ridiculous. 

By the time I met my husband, the list was shorter than the one I wrote in the heat of my teenage years, but it held the essentials. He met—and exceeded—every one. God supplied above and beyond my wildest dreams.

But after we got married, I noticed I still had an unspoken list. It was good to expect my husband to be a spiritual leader, best friend, confidant, excellent father to our children, and someone who understood me completely. But my husband could never fulfill them perfectly. He would disappoint me—just as I surely disappointed him! 

Because our husbands will never be perfect, we must first cultivate a relationship with the One who is.

  • God is the only perfect husband, and he betroths his people to him forever.
  • Jesus is the friend who is closer than a brother.
  • The Lord is our shepherd who counsels, restores, and leads us into righteousness.
  • Only the Lord knows us completely and anticipates our needs accurately.
  • Our Heavenly Father parents us in holiness, faithfulness, justice, goodness, and truth.

Maybe you, like me, scratched out some items on your list of the ‘perfect’ husband. But are we still expecting too much from the men we married? As wonderful as they are, they will never fill us, complete us, or satisfy our souls. we tossed out some of our high standards for the ‘perfect’ husband, recognizing he would never appear. But are we still expecting more than we ought from the men we married? We cannot expect them to fill us, complete us, or satisfy our souls.

So, instead of keeping a running list of all the things we wished our husbands would be or do, let’s run to our perfect, loving, and faithful God. He is everything he says he would be. He will fulfill his promises to us. And one day, when we see him face to face, our souls will be satisfied in him completely and forever.


This is Day 4 in a series: A Diligent Wife

Photo by Hayley Maxwell on Unsplash

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