• What We Celebrate on World Down Syndrome Day

    Down syndrome impacts me everyday. It affects my decisions, my chores, my schedule, even my life insurance policy—you should see the bill that just arrived. But our son’s disability has become such a normal part of life that I don’t think about it everyday. He’s just my son, a delightful addition to our family, and one of the greatest kids around. In the early days of his diagnosis, I thought about the impacts of Down syndrome constantly. We had questions and no answers, fears and no certain outcomes. I would hold my baby boy, trace the lines on his chubby hands, and pray. For his growth and development. For protection…

  • How to Worship When You’re in the Dark

    The following is a slight adaptation of a lesson I recently gave to our Women’s Bible Study on Psalm 88. We don’t typically introduce ourselves by sharing the darkest, most difficult pieces of our stories. So when we confront a lament in the Bible, written by a man we only know by the name Heman, we might be taken aback. At the very least, we’re forced to enter into his pain, to sit in the dark with him as he communicates with God. But I think more than that, some sort of response surfaces.  Some might wonder how a person could feel such intense grief.  Others can relate to the…

  • The Spiritual Discipline of Remembering

      They say nothing really prepares you for motherhood.  Almost nine years in, and five kids later, I agree.  I read the books, I asked the questions, I watched those ahead of me on the path. And yet when I started having babies I had to figure everything out.  The nursing, the quieting down a screaming infant, learning how each child responds differently to structures, their own emotions, and the people around them.   One milestone is reached, one routine established, one question answered, and the next day you find yourself starting all over again.   If you like order, routine, and predictably, motherhood will throw you off your game in…

  • The Mysterious Gift of Shattered Dreams

        What would be the greatest gift you could ever receive?     This question was posed to us during a Sunday School lesson a few weeks ago.  Most of us at the table knew the ‘right’ answer, but for the sake of discussion and getting to the heart of the matter, we began to share our desires.  Someone mentioned the salvation of their children, another the ability to know the future.  But what has stayed with me these weeks later is the answer from a friend at the table:     “Whatever it is that I don’t want.”   Strange response, right?  The greatest gift you could receive is that…

  • How to feel your pain when life goes on

      People said some lovely things to us when we first learned that Mason had Down syndrome.  I know their intentions were good and they wanted to encourage us with comments like, “God only gives special kids to really special people,” and “It takes such wonderfully kind people to raise kids like this, so it’s obvious why God chose you.”  “What a gift you’ve been given and how great it is that God chose you to be Mason’s mom and dad.”   Yes!  Absolutely we were given a gift in Mason, a great one, and I have always loved him in more ways than he’ll ever know.  I felt that…

  • Dear Mason // A Letter to my Son on World Down Syndrome Day

      Dear Mason, From the moment I first laid eyes on you my heart was overwhelmed with joy.  I remember thinking over and over in my hospital bed the night you were born, We have a son!   Daddy had gone home to sleep, to be with the older girls, and I was alone with my thoughts.  The nurses took extra good care of us that night.  I had lost a lot of blood and was too weak to get out of bed, so they washed me and took you to the nursery so I could get some sleep.  I woke up the next morning eager to hold you and…

  • Colors, Jumping and “No, Mama”

    Back in October, we were sitting around the table eating breakfast and Mason kept putting his hand under his chin, waving his fingers and babbling something to me.  I tried desperately to figure out what he was saying, but to no avail. Later that morning, after his physical therapy session, I asked his therapist what that sign meant. “Oh, that’s how Mason says orange.” “WHAT?”  “Yeah, it’s supposed to be like this (she signed the correct way), but he does an approximation as he does with all of his colors.” And then she proceeded to point to different objects around the waiting room and Mason told me with sign language and…

  • How God’s glory can show up in the midst of change

    Two weeks ago I texted my Mom to share with her that I had finally made some phone calls in regards to the kids’ schooling for next year.  I ended my text with #imabigkidnow This might sound strange, but she knows me well:  I dislike making phone calls. Yes, I am an adult.  But somehow picking up the phone to call someone regarding a business related issue always makes me feel like a kid again.  A kid being taught how to have proper phone etiquette.  Phone calls when I was in middle and high school brought me to tears and my parents would have to force me to pick up the phone,…

  • When small things become BIG

    It’s been three years ago to the day that the words Down Syndrome were first spoken to us in regard to our son Mason.  He was just a little over 12 hours old when the Doctor brought him into my room and told me his suspicions.  I held my boy close, kissing his cheeks, as I cried and tried to make sense of what the Doctor was saying. We didn’t know much about Down syndrome, but over the days, weeks and months that followed, we tried to learn all we could, hoping that we would be able to care for and help our little guy with any potential struggles he faced. When I…

  • The day my perspective changed

    Mason was about eight months old when I met someone who changed my perspective on Down syndrome.  I have relived this story countless times since, and have been waiting for the perfect moment to share it in writing.  There are some things that I want to cling to in my heart, tuck away as secrets in my soul somehow; those things will never be shared in my writing.  But, this story is one I can’t keep from you.  So, today, on World Down Syndrome Day, I want to share with you a precious moment I experienced with my son. It was December and we were in Greenville, SC, visiting with some friends…