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Re-Learning through the changing seasons of life

On Sunday my husband gave me one of the greatest gifts:  time.  To myself.  I basically walked into the house after getting home from church, mumbled something like, “Don’t ask me, I’m not in charge,” to my four year old’s question, changed out of my dress and headed back out the door.

I was elated to finally have some alone time.  Should I go to the beach and read?  Shop?  Find a bathroom and use it just because I could without being interrupted?  Sit somewhere and enjoy being left alone?

I found myself at Panera, with my laptop open, a grilled chicken Caesar salad, and my thoughts.  But I couldn’t even think straight.  As excited as I was to be on my own, I also felt completely lost.  This move has taken its toll on me.  My heart, my mind, my emotions, everything has been pushed to the limit and I am tired.

I forgot how much change affects me.  For a person who loves routine–maybe you could say I’m a bit OCD–even little changes, like when Bradley’s schedule would shift from days to nights, it would be weeks before I felt like we were in a good rhythm.

The past eight weeks I’ve been navigating my way through a new town, a house that we don’t love, sleepless nights due to a teething baby and older children who wet their beds, mice in the house{even had one in a drawer, and I touched its tail–gross}, loneliness, new routines.  In many ways I feel like I’m drowning in my thoughts and finding clarity in this newness has been hard.

Last year I wrote a post on feeling overwhelmed.  I just re-read it, and do you know what?  I was about to type out exactly what I had written last year.  Funny how we have to re-learn things as we go through the changing seasons of life.  We don’t ever arrive.  And, I think that’s a good thing.

If we came to the point of handling everything perfectly we would lose sight of the fact that we aren’t the ones who are ever handling anything.

I can do nothing on my own.

I must continue to decrease so that Jesus can become greater (John 3:30).

And if me decreasing means that God gives me something that’s a bit too hard for me to handle, then so be it.  Because my job as a follower of Christ is to feel more and more unable, not more and more capable.

It’s when I feel weak that God is made strong (2 Corinthians 12:10)  In my inabilities He shines greater.  As I abide in Him, I can bear fruit because apart from Jesus I can do nothing (John 15:5).

Today, if we feel like we just can’t handle it, we’re right.

But, if we have been changed by the gospel of Jesus Christ, then we have a power at work within us, “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27).

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10 Comments

  • Reply Cindy

    Beautifully said. Big hugs to you, Lauren 🙂

    August 8, 2014 at 1:08 pm
    • Reply BradleyandLauren Washer

      Thanks Cindy. And, I never responded to a previous question of yours. Bradley is in the Navy, so I don’t think we’d ever be stationed in your area, but if we vacation there, I’ll be sure to let you know!!

      August 14, 2014 at 11:44 am
  • Reply Sydni Jackson

    Such a good message! Thanks for sharing

    August 8, 2014 at 3:56 pm
  • Reply Constance Ann Morrison

    Goodness, Lauren! You’ve had a lot of change and stress in your life the past few weeks. Treat yourself kindly, as God does. “It’s with lasting love that I’m tenderly caring for you.” Isaiah 57:8 The Message

    You’ve written a good reminder about God’s strength in us when we are feeling weak.

    August 13, 2014 at 8:42 pm
  • Reply Anne

    I’ve been mulling over II Corinthians 12:10 this week, too! In fact it was just yesterday morning that I said, “where is that?” and went to my concordance. I’ve felt overwhelmed lately, too. With not getting the sleep I need and trying to figure out why and how. A couple of days ago in my journal I wrote, “God, this is too big for me.” I have a feeling He smiled and said, “it’s about time.” 🙂 Loved your post. Visiting from the link up. (but haven’t linked up yet!)

    August 13, 2014 at 10:45 pm
    • Reply BradleyandLauren Washer

      Yes, when things are too big for us, we can see more clearly just how big God is!

      August 14, 2014 at 11:45 am
  • Reply Sue Donaldson

    love your post and your heart, lauren. this verse has been my prayer these last few months – true enough, new learning is usually layered relearning…
    where did you move? we could have coffee if you’re nearby! (and we have a panera which i don’t frequent enough!) found you on holley berth this evening.

    August 14, 2014 at 4:37 am
    • Reply BradleyandLauren Washer

      Thanks for your encouragement, Sue. I wish I was still living on the CA coast! Maybe someday….We’re in Florida for now, and we’ve been enjoying spending the summer close to the beach. 🙂

      August 14, 2014 at 11:48 am

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