Last week, I asked my Instagram followers: What marital challenges are you facing? Of those who responded, ninety percent named marital intimacy. They admitted exhaustion and an inability to find time for their husbands. Most expressed a desire to improve in the area of intimacy with their husbands, but it felt impossible. When little children need you constantly, it’s difficult to find a way to meet your husband’s needs. Children get in the way, they interrupt, and sometimes we just don’t want anyone else to touch us at the end of the day.
I completely understand. I’ve been physically and mentally exhausted for twelve of the fifteen years of our marriage. During the most challenging season of babies, sleepless nights, and toddlers, I couldn’t muster up enough energy to engage with my husband at the end of the day. A conversation felt impossible, much less anything beyond that. Sometimes, I would pretend to be asleep so I could avoid him. (For the record: I am not proud of this, nor do I recommend it).
I longed for a way to escape the exhaustion and enjoy my husband in the ways I did before children came along. But when nothing magical happened, I realized I had forgotten one simple thing: prayer.
So, I prayed. Now, I know this might sound cliche or trite or maybe even feel a little bit weird if you’ve never prayed about sexual intimacy before. But, it works.
Here’s my practical tip: Pray.
If you’re struggling to have energy for intimacy with your husband at the end of the day, here are a few simple things you could pray for:
- Desire for sexual intimacy.
- Creative ways to express your love for your husband.
- An ability to talk with your husband about issues of sexual intimacy.
- Fewer interruptions.
- A husband who seeks to understand your needs.
- A willingness to understand your husband’s needs.
- Joy in intimacy.
- God will be glorified in this aspect of your marriage.
Over time, I believe you will begin to experience God—at the very least—changing your heart. He maybe even change your experience with intimacy too.
*I know sexual intimacy is a complicated topic. Many marriages need outside counsel to help navigate these issues. Please do not hesitate to seek advice and input from a mentor, pastor, or therapist whom you love and trust.
This is Day 5 of a series: A Diligent Wife