I was listening to an interview recently with TV and film producer, J.J. Abrams, in which he was telling the story of how his career started. He floundered in the beginning, unsure which direction to go, or what content to create. His wife offered him some solid advice: Write about what you love. Write what you care about. So, he did. And he went on to produce some of the most loved films and TV series of our time.
Well, this is me, writing about something important to me, and for which I care deeply about: marriage. And more specifically, being a wife. I’ve been a wife for the past fifteen years, and I love it. I love my husband, I enjoy our marriage, and I look forward to the next twenty years. My goal has always been to strive for excellence as a wife—you know, the kind Solomon says is hard to find.
I think I started out okay. Three years in, and I was doing pretty good. But then, we started having children, and by the time we had four children who were 4.5 years old and younger, being an excellent wife felt elusive. My children constantly needed my attention, my body, my time, and my energy. When I reached the end of the day, I had nothing left for my husband.
Suddenly, I didn’t know how to be a wife anymore. I wanted to talk to my husband and I wanted to desire intimacy, but I was weary from caring for the little people who desperately needed me. Busy, overwhelmed, and exhausted, I didn’t care so much about excellence, I just wanted to feel like his wife again.
So, I began to pray. For my marriage, yes. But, more than my marriage, I began to pray for my heart. The kids weren’t going to stop needing me. Giving up my role as a Mom wasn’t an option. But neither was quitting on my marriage. How could I be a wife and a Mom? Was it possible to be both? What could this look like, and where was I to start? What needed to change in me in order to invest more fully in my marriage?
I know many of you feel this struggle. And I want to start off this series by telling you: your desire to prioritize your marriage is good and right. Over the next 31 days, I want us to consider ways we can invest in our marriages even when busyness and exhaustion overwhelm us.
But the first step is simply this: Care about your marriage. Be willing to invest in it. Because when we participate in the work God is doing within us, and within our marriages, God will help us. He cares more about our marriages than we do.
Today is Day 1 of a 31 Day series: A Diligent Wife. You can find all the posts here on this page. Or, come join us on Instagram to join in the conversation. Over there, you’ll find a list of each day’s title so you know where we’re heading. If you’re a writer, feel free to use each day’s topic as a prompt to share your own wisdom. Simply post a photo, write a caption, and use #adiligentwife so I can see your post.