Lighten Up: Making the Most of Alone Time in Marriage

I will be the first to admit I often sabotage our alone time. My expectations are high: we must go deep, fast; meaningful connection is mandatory; and we can’t afford to waste time with light-hearted conversation.

It can go something like this:

Me: (Silently hoping we can discuss the current state of our marriage, set goals, or do a deep dive into our feelings), I will ask, “What are you thinking about?”

Him: “I’m trying to figure out what color to put on the body of my motorcycle.”

Instantly, I’m disappointed and concerned and thinking, oh my goodness our marriage is crumbling. We only have this one date and we’re going to talk about motorcycles?

Dramatic, you say? Of course it is. But sometimes my mind really does go there.

Ladies, if you also tend to be too serious, take it from a pro: lighten up.

Yes, alone time is precious. But when alone time takes a different turn than we expected, we can honor our husbands by meeting them in the moment.

You can talk about motorcycles and grass seed and beard oil. Ask him questions if you don’t understand what he’s talking about or feel ignorant about his interests. Tease him, flirt a little, and crack a joke.

Alone time is much more profitable when we enter it with a loosely held agenda, an eagerness to listen, a willingness to laugh, and a humble heart. In doing so, we can honor our husbands more than ourselves, and extend the love of Christ.

This is Day 15 in a series: A Diligent Wife

Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash

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