If you’re anything like me, you don’t like to feel needy. We don’t want to be a burden to anyone and we think other people’s needs are more significant than ours. Sometimes we feel embarrassed by our inability to cope when life is hard. We hide our feelings of inadequacy behind a smile and a cheerful voice. When someone asks how we’re really doing, we offer half-truths about the realities in our families and the fears we carry in our hearts.
Our culture doesn’t help. The world is constantly feeding our aversion to neediness by telling us we can do it all and be it all. So we start believing the lies: it’s wrong to need help and if I can’t improve myself or my situation then there must be some sort of deficiency in me. This shame inducing narrative bombards our souls and leaves us floundering. So we refuse the help we desperately need and remain stuck.
If you feel stuck in your marriage, please hear this:
Asking for help in your marriage is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of courage.
Sometimes you may need a trusted friend to cry with you, pray over you, shed light into your darkness, and remind you of the vows you made. A loving friend will tenderly care for you, your soul, and your marriage.
Sometimes you may need to call your pastor and seek his counsel. A wise and faithful leader will minister to you, shepherd your heart, and help you and your husband.
Sometimes you may need to seek professional counseling. If your husband is willing to go with you, accept this gracious provision from the Lord and go. Your dearest friends will not shame you in this pursuit. They will champion you.
Sometimes, a difficult marriage situation becomes destructive. These issues go beyond the help of a friend, pastor, or even a licensed professional counselor. There is no shame in seeking help from those who can protect you, and your children.
In all of these marital difficulties, there is no greater help than from our Savior, Jesus. He sees you and he understands your pain. Jesus carried all of your grief and sorrow. The Lord walks with you in your suffering. He heals the broken-hearted and binds up our wounds.
This is Day 21 in a series: A Diligent Wife